


This love is good, this love is bad

by mccallsmelissa



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fear, Fluff, Ghost!Allison, Lysaac, Post-Allison's Death, Sad Isaac, Sad Lydia, Smut, dealing with allisons deah, ghost - Freeform, isaacs way of dealing with allisons death, lydias way of dealing with allisons death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-02 18:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2821667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mccallsmelissa/pseuds/mccallsmelissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allison is dead and Lydia Martin is heartbroken. She refuse to say or do anything before it's time for the funeral, but that does not quite go as she wants it to. Lydia soon realize that everyone is up to other stuff, and everyone quickly forgets about Ally. That's at least what it feels like. Besides Isaac. Oh Isaac. Isaac with his lovely smile that could light up the world. Isaac who used to date Allison.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I have never stopped loving you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I have made so changes in this chapter partly with my own help but my co-worker have also helped me with things like grammar, typos and also to make it more alive (which is the changes I myself have done). If you are an old reader I suggest you read this chapter once again, just to get the better version of it. And new readers, well I hope you will enjoy everything. Have a nice day. :)

_If two people are meant to be together, they’ll eventually find their way back into each other’s arms, no matter what._

Lydia read the sentence again. In fact she decided to read it over and over again for ten minutes straight until she realized what she had been doing.

So why hadn't Allison died in her arms? Sure, they weren't a couple but they were meant to be best friends, Lydia knew that, she had always known it. She sighed loudly and grabbed her phone, she had one million missed calls and texts from her friends that she decided to ignore as usual.

Lydia just wanted to see which day it was and as she expected, it was the day of the funeral. Lydia didn’t want to go, going meant meeting people and it wasn't any of her priorities at the moment, but she knew she had to say goodbye. She was afraid that she never would get over Allison if she didn't go to say goodbye. Sitting locked into her room for the rest of her existence would also be a bad call, but she couldn’t really bother about that. Her best friend was dead, so what was the point anyway? The world felt like a dark and colder place without Allison.

Isaac had promised to pick Lydia up for the funeral. He was the only one out of the pack that she had said one word to, and that one word wasn't more than an 'okay'. 

Lydia knew Isaac could understand the pain she was facing. Lydia didn't really feel like opening up to people when they wouldn't understand anyway. That's how it always had been, because how are people not understanding going to help her? Not because she really had opened up to Isaac or something but right now talking with people that didn’t understand disgusted her. Neither she nor he had the chance to say goodbye to Allison, while she spent her last breathes in Scott’s arms.

She wasn’t angry at Scott. She knew he probably was suffering as much as they were but, she was jealous. Incredibly jealous. So jealous she wasn't able to even read the words coming from him.

Scott didn’t know how not being able to say goodbye felt like. She wanted to hold Allison, wanted to hear her saying 'I love you' for one last time. She wanted that more than anything else in the world and it made her heart clench.

Nobody knew Ally as well as Lydia, (besides Isaac and Scott, maybe) so she had decided that there were no chances for them to understand how she was feeling. She had been Allison’s best friend. She was the one who held her when she broke down and she was one who knew everything about her, like how she only liked cookie dough ice cream and how she used to have a habit of chewing on her hair when she was stressed, which Lydia had told Allison was gross.

“Ally, that’s disgusting.”

“As my best friend you’re not supposed to judge me this harshly,” she laughed.

Lydia shut her eyes and brought herself back to her bedroom that smelled like cinnamon candles and the perfume Allison used to spray on when she didn’t have time to shower.

Isaac was a good person to turn too, maybe. She hoped he was.

After getting dressed into one of Allison’s black dresses, which hugged her around the hips and the straps sometimes fell off on her shoulders. She threw on her favorite black coat and a few swipes of waterproof mascara.

At exactly twelve she saw Isaac standing outside her white house with a black suit. To be honest, she was surprised that he wasn’t wearing a pair of black jeans and a leather jacket, but she wasn’t complaining. Not because it really was anything she had the energy to bother about, but he did look very good and every good looking boy looked less like a boy in suits. She couldn't help but enjoy the less looking like a boy part, a lot.

With her house keys in one hand she stepped out of her house for the first time in two weeks. Walking down the stars didn’t feel the same as before, her feet felt like lead and every simple movement was tougher than before.

She barely recognized her own house or the red wallpaper on the walls that held the big paintings of Amsterdam and London or even her own face when she passed one of the many big circle formed mirrors. The most important person in her life was dead. Everything feeling unfamiliar wasn’t a surprise.

Seeing Isaac again felt strange, the second she came out of her house they both started crying. It was if as soon as they looked at each other a building broke down.

Lydia wasn't crying because of sorrow, for once, she was happy to see him and she felt some sort of weird, strange happiness for the first time in two weeks. Although moving wasn't anything she was capable of, which really frustrated her, so she stood there frozen while Isaac ran up to her.

They both stood there, Isaac with a hand on Lydia's shoulder to comfort her. She figured he didn't want to do anything Lydia wouldn't appreciate, didn't want to rush things, so he didn't hug her before she initiated it. When she did, they stood there, hugging and crying in each other’s arms for about ten minutes.

Isaac smelled just like the woods, he had a fresh sent yet there was something mysterious with it. 

They finally let go of each other and then they just stood there, still crying slightly, for another ten minutes before Isaac took Lydia’s hand and started playing with her fingers for what Lydia understood was comforting. Neither of them knew what to say or what to do but after a while they both started walking to the car that would take them to the funeral.

The car ride took about fifteen minutes and they kept quiet during the whole time. When they, not so finally, arrived Lydia opened her mouth for the first time.

“I’m not-," she began but a sob choked out from her mouth instead.

“You’re not sure if you can do this? Neither am I. But I'm sure we can do it together, just hold my hand and we’ll get through this day together. That’s exactly what All-,” he paused because the second he was going to say her name, the words just couldn’t leave his mouth.

“-What she would have wanted us to do,” Lydia said to help him finish the sentence. Her voice finally finding even ground.

He nodded, smile strained, opened the car door and jumped out of it. Lydia couldn’t get herself to do the same, she just looked over at the big upside down Y formed church with white walls and a black roof, so Isaac walked over to her side and helped her out of the car. Isaac clasped her hand gently and the warmth from it spread into Lydia’s fingertips and down to her toes.

They walked quietly in the direction towards the church.

The ceremony was one of the most painful things Lydia ever had experienced. The air was heavy with aching hurt and everyone was crying, and she was sitting between Isaac and Scott, who both were sobbing uncontrollably. Isaac’s hand that she still hadn't let go of was shaking.

Chris had a speech and he couldn’t finish it because he was crying too much.

Right behind her was Derek, Cora and Stiles. Derek did cry, she could tell he was, but more silently only letting a few tears leave his eyes than crazy sobbing. Cora couldn't bother holding it in, so she just sat there, crying, trying to breathe properly. Stiles did the same, but he didn't want to sound broken so weird 'trying to keep it in' sounds left his mouth every now and then, and he was wet all over his face.

Lydia herself couldn’t cry. It was like there were no tears left in her body, and she felt like a stone without any emotions the second she stepped into the building with the colorful big windows that had Jesus paintings on them. At some points half of the room was staring at her. That was at least what it felt like and it made her even more uncomfortable. “Look, there’s the girls crazy best friend that just left the house for the first time in two weeks.” She just wanted to run out of the building and disappear, yet she knew she had to stay. This was technically the closest she ever would be to Allison again, so she figured that she just had to make the most of the day, and try to ignore the fact that there were other people than her and her best friend there. Which yes, was very hard, all she could do was to try.

When the ceremony almost was over it was her turn to do a speech, which she completely had forgot about. It was another detail in that one text from Isaac she had read, but apparently not paid too much attention to. It didn’t even feel important, Allison was gone and nothing felt important anymore.

“So, I’d like to welcome Lydia Martin to the microphone. May God bless you, Ms. Martin and the rest of the assembly, amen,” the priest said, before he stepped back and made a gesture saying that Lydia could leave her seat and walk over to him. The priest was standing on some kind of scene, and it was tiny stone stairs she had to walk on to get up. As long as she wouldn't fall, everything would be okay. Hopefully.

She bit her lip, looked over at Isaac who gave her a supporting smile while she let go of his hand and left her seat with puny steps. Everyone was staring at her, and it almost felt like she was going to faint. Usually attention was something Lydia enjoyed, but apparently not in every situation. Not having anything prepared since she had forgotten about it made everything even worse and she just wanted to crawl back to her seat and hide behind her friends and grab Isaac’s warm hand again.

When she reached the microphone her whole body was shaking. Looking at all the people’s faces and the beige walls made her feel sick and all she wanted to do was cry but it couldn’t come out. Although not having everyone in Beacon Hills staring at her while she was crying (since, she wasn’t) was pretty nice, she had to admit.

“So, um, I actually haven’t prepared anything to say,” She cleared her throat. “I guess writing a speech really hasn't been anything I can bother to do when my favorite person in the whole world is dead.” It sounded bitter and Lydia felt like her insides were spilling out of her. “Allison Argent is dead and I have never felt such pain as I’m feeling right now. I haven’t said more than one word to my friends during these past two weeks such as a simple ‘okay’ and I have refused to say anything besides ‘thank you’ to my mother when she brought me food.” She was saying too much, letting too much out but everything was pouring out of her at once and she let it happen. “So basically today is the first time my mouth is forming words since the day of her death,” Lydia paused for a while and thought about everything she had said, and how to continue when the massive church door opened.

One very familiar face was standing there, staring at Lydia. One very familiar face she once had loved more than her own life (at that point her life wasn't too much to love, but Lydia didn't know that back then, and that love was a big deal for her at that point).

A very familiar face that her dead best friend had helped her get over.

“Jackson?” Lydia mumbled to herself before she continued in the microphone, “I’m so sorry, I just, can’t do this. I’m so, so sorry,” she quickly said before she bit her lip and ran down from the podium.

She wanted to, needed to get out. She knew she couldn’t take the normal way, because Jackson was standing there but it was also no other way out which soon made her freak out.

“I don’t know what to do!” she yelled while her heart was beating faster than it ever had done before. She was nervous. Anxious. She needed Allison more than ever before this happened, and now he was there as well.

“Oh my god,” she whispered and it soon turned out to a deafening scream. Lydia fell to the stone floor onto her knees. Someone was suddenly there to comfort her. Isaac.

He didn't smell like the woods anymore, he smelled like the sea. Probably because of all the tears that had fallen down his cheeks. The fact that it was him was kind of weird, but also expected. He tried to be her Allison at the moment which she really appreciated; she knew Allison would have been the first one to be there to help her. Especially in a Jackson situation, Allison knew exactly how to handle it.

Lydia had acted like everything was alright, but during their sleepovers she had admitted everything. She told Allison about her fear, and she told her about how in love she was. Lydia gave her a detailed explanation about how she had let the boy she loved more than life abuse her, how she had let him take a part of her without so much more than just a no. She now knew that a ‘no’ isn’t ‘just a no’ thanks to Allison, but he didn’t listen and her vision was that he would get very violent and hurt her even more if she didn’t let him. Isaac woke Lydia up from the horrible memories, his voice soft.

“He is not coming close to you, I swear, I will not let him come close to you Lydia,” he said. Lydia did let her eyes meet Isaac’s and he tried to give her a fast smile. Lydia could soon hear Scott voices talking to Jackson, the rest of the room watching this unfold.

“I think seeing you is hard for Lydia, so maybe we can go out and have a chat?” Scott suggested. Lydia couldn’t help but smile, she knew she always could count on him in these situations.

“Lydia, I’m so deeply sorry,” Jackson began, “I have never stopped loving you, even for a second, and I would change everything if I could. I’m so sorry about All-” he said before Stiles stopped him.

“Come on, Jackson, you have to go,” he said and Jackson soon left with both Scott and Stiles.

“Why is his happening? Why is this happening today?” Lydia asked Isaac. He looked into her eyes and bit his lip.

“I don’t know. I’m so sorry Lydia,” he said. She nodded and her brain clouded with darkness before she passed out in Isaac’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment your thoughts and what I can improve, give me kudos, bookmark and all that stuff!!
> 
> So this is my first chapter and I hope you guys liked it. As you most likely have noticed is this post-Allison's death, and I'm sorry if it's a little bit out of character. I tried to write Lydia and Isaac as I would have imagined them after Allison dying and not really the usual them. This is a part we never got to see, clearly, and this story will take a completely different direction then what Teen Wolf did after Ally died. Also, I'm imagining everything with the Nogitsune being over the second she died and "The Divine Move" kinda never happened. Aiden isn't dead, Danny knows nothing and... imagine that everything just kinda stopped when Allison died. Also, I'll bring up with things that might not have happened or ignore some.  
> However, this is a story about Lydia and Isaac's way of dealing with Allison's death, mostly written because I'm very unhappy with what the show showed us. OK, thanks for reading.


	2. The loss of a friend

A few days later Lydia woke up in the hospital.

The pack had taken her there after she passed out and since she rarely had slept since Allison’s death she had sleep to catch up on.  

When she woke up, Scott was there to look after her. Lydia had found out from him that Isaac, Stiles, Derek and Cora had all spent a lot of time in the waiting room sipping coffee and flipping through home design magazines.

They made sure that at least one person was there all the time so she wouldn’t have to wake up by herself. Her mom had apparently checked on her every now and then, but Lydia figured that there probably wasn't a lot of time spent doting over her from her mother.

Although Melissa Mccall, Scott’s mom, was there in the room when she woke up which Lydia was glad about. She had always liked her, and she made the whole hospital experience less hosptially. Melissa made jokes with Lydia the second she woke up and everything felt less serious, the knot in her chest untying slightly.

“Oh Lydia, you took some time to wake up, didn’t you? How is it going?” she asked jokingly.

“Well, I’m just fine. I feel like a whole new person, it's not like my best friend died two weeks ago and then my ex-boyfriend showed up at her funeral. I’m all good,” she replied dryly.

Melissa smiled in a 'I get that it sucks' way before she continued talking, “I’m afraid we will have to run some tests on you - just to see how your body is going before I can leave you alone with my son,” she nodded sympathetically.

Lydia couldn’t bother to reply; she just nodded and started to look around in the room. There was a 'Get better soon' stuffed animal next to her bed which according to Scott came from her mom. Not that she believed him. She also had a bouquet of flowers next to her bed which came from her friends. They smelled like fake perfume.

The rest of the room looked exactly as you expect hospital rooms to look, and there wasn't really anything exciting going on. She did have a television in there, and a few of her favorite books were in there as well; one which Allison was reading before she passed away, which she really appreciated. It was like having a part of her around still.

Thanking her friends for being so thoughtful and bringing her the books was something she would have to do as soon as possible; since there was a possibility that she would have to stay for a while. Her emotional health was apparently taking its toll on her body which ached, she had been told.

A few hours passed and after having the first real conversation with Scott for two weeks (which by the way wasn't too bad, she didn't want to open up to him which she couldn't bother to hide, but he was okay with it, kind of) it was it time for him to go in to school, Melissa had left them long ago and neither her other friends or her mom would have time to come in until at least five hours later.

After some thinking, she decided to start reading the book Allison had read that was left on her bed table. Since she was the last person (besides the person who had brought it) that had touched the book, she could maybe feel some sort of connection to her while reading it. At least trick herself into feeling connected.

The book is very complicated, yet romantic and very funny. Without spoiling too much, the main character is a bitter old lady that meets the love of her life after eighty years. The problem is that she is a forty five year old, attractive teacher who has no idea that she’s a lesbian. Falling in love with a thirty five years older woman is very confusing for her, and then there's this sex scene which feels very incesty since they could be mother and daughter. However, they get married and everything is perfect for three chapters after everything being complicated for fifteen. The older lady, Mona, after finally not being bitter anymore dies and the younger one gets pregnant with her ex-husbands baby. Reading the book is like a roller coaster, and it makes no sense at all which is the reason Lydia likes it so much. Yet she can't imagine Allison enjoying it even a tiny bit. Her bookmark was one chapter seven, and her at least trying to read it did make Lydia very happy.

"I just wish you would have got to finish the book. I wish we would have had a chance to discuss it, and I wish I could have explained everything to you. I miss you so much Ally and if you're wondering, they got married but Mona dies just a month afterwards. At least she got her happy ending, you know. I wish you would have had one of those, as well," she whispered to the book. Just like the book was Allison, or something. She decided to keep the bookmark and see it as a part of Allison, so she put it in her trouser pockets without really taking a look at it. There was time to do that later.

Afterwards Melissa came back and almost forced Lydia to go back to sleep, but she didn't mind. Resting was good and she promised to wake her up the second any of her friends, or her mom for that matter, arrived.

………

"Lydia, hey, wake up," a familiar voice said.

Melissa.

She started blinking hysterically, while trying to get used to the bright room. The big clock in front of her said 4.15 pm and the rest of the pack (that still was, well, alive) had finished school for the day.

Scott was back, and he had brought Isaac, Stiles, Derek and Cora. As well as the new were-coyote, Malia.

Malia didn't know the rest of them so well, besides Stiles who she really quickly had started dating but Lydia thought that she possibly could start liking her, when she was less wolf and more human. Whenever that was going to happen. She was kinda sweet, very excited and interested in learning. The first week after she had changed back into a human she asked Lydia every single question you possibly could ask about maths, because you know, after being in a wolf body for half of your life you really don't know that stuff.

Lydia couldn't help find her a little bit annoying, partly because all of the excitement going on but mostly because she didn't know how to not be an ignorant asshole sometimes. In Malia’s defense, she didn't know any better yet.

"You’re all actually here," she said and a tiny smile formed on her lips. They hadn't completely forgot about her which made her warm up inside, even after she had ignored them all for two weeks straight and then slept for another four days after ruining her (dead) best friends funeral. Or well, at least the ending of it.

"Of course we‘re here, Lyds, I've- I mean we’ve,“  He paused and gestured to the rest of the pack with his energetic hands, “been so worried," Stiles cleared his throat.

Lydia met Stiles' eyes with a happy mixed with worried look. She couldn't help but not really trust him or anyone else for that matter, besides possibly Isaac only because she knew he understood, after knowing that a man that maybe wasn't Stiles but sure as hell looked like him was the reason Allison died. If she wouldn't have spent two weeks ignoring him, she would have told him multiple times that she didn't blame him, and she didn't, but it was his face, his body and deep down, maybe it still was in there. Maybe a part of him still was the person that killed her best friend.

There was a small silence that followed Stiles statement. It was like nobody knew what to say. It was like as soon as Allison was gone everything good had been sucked dry and everybody knew that not a single word would help.

Then Lydia suddenly remembered the person that was standing right in front of her four days earlier at the funeral. Jackson.

"Is he, um, still here?" she asked, her voice small.

Malia looked confused for a few seconds, but Isaac and Derek understood what she was talking about and they both said the same two words in the exact same moment. "I'm sorry," Isaac then continued,

"He refused to leave before he got to speak to you. He’s staying in Derek and Cora's loft at the moment, and he’s not taking our threats seriously," he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, one of his curls falling slightly into his eyes.

"I've told him that I'll kick his ass if he refuse to leave before you wake up, which I totally will do tonight, I mean kick his ass, but he just laughs it away," Cora muttered, "It's not like I'm bad at kicking asses, he if anyone should know," she continued, mostly to herself this time. Having anyone doubting her abilities wasn't anything Cora enjoyed.

Lydia had always liked her, mostly because she saw herself in Cora. She made her feel less lonely, and she was a great 'girls can be badass too (even as badass as boys)' example - something Lydia really believed in.

"So he’s still here", Lydia whispered to herself and her friends gave her sympathetic looks. She was growing tired of being looked at that way.

"What happened between you two anyway?" Malia asked casually. Everyone stared at her with angry eyes and she just looked questioning at them. "What? I'm just asking," she continued, her arms crossed.

As usual, Malia didn't know better. Lydia felt sorry for her; she couldn't help but get a little annoyed. She didn't want to share it with anyone besides Allison.

"Nothing," Lydia replied with a cold tone in her voice. She might be too hard against Malia and if so that’s the way things are.

"Whatever," Malia replied, uncrossing her arms and looked like a kid who just got denied chocolate.

"Stiles, I think you and her should leave," Isaac blurted after spending a few seconds thinking, looking towards the ground. He wanted to protect Lydia, and right now he thought Malia was someone he needed to protect her from. Stiles stared back at Isaac.

"Excuse me? What, no, Scott I should not leave, right?" he said confusingly with a hint of annoyance edged into his voice.

"Um, maybe Isaac is right," Scott replied with a soft tone, avoiding eye contact with Stiles. Stiles gave them an angry look before he shook his head; obviously, he shouldn't have to leave and he seemed so offended by it.

"What do you think Lyds?" he said with confidence in his voice. She didn't really want Malia to leave; at least she didn't mind her, but she minded Stiles.

Seeing his face reminded her so much of the fact that her best friend was dead, and it was too painful. Especially when every single other thing in her life reminded her of it. She couldn't help but acting like Malia was the problem so she could make sure he left.

"Maybe bringing your girlfriend was a bad call, and you leaving would be the best for everyone," Lydia felt the anger she felt bubble to the surface and it showed in her voice

She felt bad, yet she couldn't blame herself just like she couldn't blame Malia for acting quite ignorant.

Stiles bit his lip and stared at them all with irritation, that look reminded Lydia so much about the person that had been in his body. He gave even Malia an angry look; he probably thought she was the reason they had to leave. Lydia couldn't blame him for that; obviously she couldn't when it was how she had made it out to be.

Lydia also knew that it wasn't his fault that these things had happened. Neither didn’t help Lydia’s fear. He then grabbed Malia's arm with the knowledge that she would follow him (she, well, in fact everyone was stronger than Stiles, so dragging her out without her wanting him too wasn't an opinion) and walked out of the room.

Lydia didn't know what to do, she had already lost her best friend and she would probably lose Stiles as well. Maybe, it still was in him. Maybe, it was too late. Maybe, she would never be able to fully trust him. Maybe he was already lost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment your thoughts and what I can improve, give me kudos, bookmark and all that stuff!!!
> 
> So I asked my friend Sage for help and she have helped me a lot with like grammar and typos and the way of writing some things in this chapter. English is not my native language, so having someone that is from an English speaking country helps a lot. She also gave me a few ideas which I used and edited the previous chapter! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one. I really enjoyed writing it and it has been hard not to post it, but i've decided that I at least now want 200 hits on every chapter before I post a new one, so, chapter 3 will be out whenever this chapter hits 200 readers (spoiler alert, it's already written). Please write down your thoughts and give be constructive criticism, I always want to get better so I can never really get enough of that. Have a nice day, and please spread the word about this fanfic. It would make my heart happy.


	3. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you start reading, know that I'm super sorry for the lame name of the chapter I'M JUST NOT GOOD WITH THAT OKAY

Later that night, everyone besides Isaac had left. He didn't want her to be alone, and he claimed that Allison would have been there if she could, so he at least could do everything in his power to keep her company. Lydia appreciated it, the thought of being alone scared her and only reminded her of how Allison had left her. Isaac was right, she would have been there. 

The darkness had fallen over the room, and the earlier white wallpapers had turned darker. When Lydia looked out of the window, she could tell that the darkness not only had fallen over the room, but the whole city. It was raining and if she listened closely enough, she could hear silent thundering in the background.

Isaac had brought a question game, it was very simple and the one that knew that most things about stuff won. They played it for two hours straight, and he stood up and yelled out of frustration every single time Lydia got something right meanwhile he got something wrong which was quite a lot of times.

_"Are you fucking kidding me? How the hell did I not know that?"_

_"I swear, Martin, you are cheating. You must be cheating!"_

Lydia being so much better at it kind of cheered her up (not kind of, it did cheer her up), and she was happy that Isaac although it was hard for him kept playing for some time. For the record, it was of fun to see him get so angry. He let his emotions out, and it was reliving to see. Even the most bad ass supernatural creatures had feelings they couldn't turn on and off. 

After a while they both got tired of it. Isaac tired of not being the best at it, and Lydia tired at being the best. Also they had ran out of new cards with questions, which did make it way more boring.

Afterwards neither of them really knew what to say, to be completely honest - they never really had spent any time alone. Sure they did things together, but never only with only the two of them. She didn't want it to be awkward, Lydia was afraid that the boy with the scarves maybe would decide to leave her alone in case that happened. Lydia let a sigh stuffed with hopelessly out in the dry air. The sigh was itself very dry, and she imagined that they'd rough-dry if any of them took one more breath. She imagined that the dryness in the not so white anymore room would take over their lungs any second.

When she thought about it for a while Lydia realized that they in fact did actually get along quite well, so it was no reason for Isaac to leave her. Maybe he liked it when it was quiet? She did too. It was peaceful and it gave her time to think, something she enjoyed in most situations, just not this one. Suddenly it hit Lydia,

"Do you remember in like, freshman year when you had the  _biggest_  crush on me?" she asked him smiling like an idiot before she added, "and I, well, rejected you,". Isaac looked over at her surprised before his cheeks turned red.

"Me? A crush? On you?" he replied in a failed attempt of sounding confident, "I for one don't do crushes if you didn't know that, Martin," he continued. Lydia rolled with her eyes. Of course he would act like it never had happened, Lydia couldn't claim that she knew Isaac _that_ well. But she knew he was going to do it.

"Nice try, Lahey, but you did in fact have a very big crush on me," she said back, "and for the record, you liked Allison and had a crush on her," He glowered surprisingly at her for thirty seconds before he replied,

"At least, I was way more low key about it than Stiles," he said, without mentioning anything about Allison, them not discussing her was probably the best possible thing to do. Lydia couldn't help but regret mentioning her, it was painful to think about her. Saying her name out loud made her heart beat unhealthily fast and she was worried that it would make a nurse come in to check on her. Dammit Allison, why did you have to leave, Lydia thought.

"Isaac, that's really nothing to brag about. Anyone can handle a crush better than Stiles, I mean it, anyone - and, you did ask me out once so that's not too low key, is it?" Lydia laughed when she said it, she had told him to come back when the bike he rode to school had an engine and not a chain, when he asked her out. It must have been the best date turn down Beacon Hill's ever had experienced, that was at least what she thought when she said it. Now thinking about it, she was more ashamed about saying it. It was bittersweet to look back.

"Can we by the way not mention Stiles, like, ever again?" Lydia heard herself say, she acted like someone was outside the room eavesdropping. Maybe losing Allison had made her paranoid. Mentioning him had given her a big lump in her stomach and it made her nervous.

Isaac looked over at her and it almost felt like he could read her facial expression. He stood up walked over to her bed with smooth steps before he crouched and sat down on the floor next to hear bed and examined Lydia's face.

"I don't really know how to explain it," Lydia rustled before Isaac cut her off,

"You don't have to explain it," he said with a polite tone, Lydia looked at him and bit her lip,

"I want to," she said before she continued, "I'm afraid it still is in him. He remind me of her, so much, and I know it isn't his fault but I can't help it. I didn't really mind Malia earlier when you know, _that_ happened, she could have stayed, but Stiles Stilinski. I don't know how to look him in the eyes anymore," she said quickly.

Lydia didn't have to explain anything else, she was pretty sure Isaac knew before she told him about it anyway. Telling Scott about it was nothing she ever would be able to do considering one, he is Stiles' best friend and two, he didn't _understand_ , Derek and Cora, she wasn't that close to them. Three weeks ago she would have considered Isaac as no one close enough as well. Maybe, she thought, Allison's death brought something good with it. A very new found friendship to this Isaac Lahey guy that wasn't depending on their other friends. Maybe they would keep doing this friends thing even when the worst things had blown over. But then again, she thought, Isaac would never be able to replace Allison. The bond they had shared was something special, and the comfort Lydia felt every time she looked in Allison's eyes was the one thing that had kept her smiling for so long. They were soul mates, and although she would meet other friends she knew she never would meet anyone that could replace Allison. Allison's death was bitter sweet but more bitter than sweet. That was undeniable and nothing she could ignore. 

"We don't have to talk about it, Lydia. I might not feel completely like you do with him, but I don't blame you and I can tell that you really don't want to talk about it, so, you know, we don't have to. I'm not going to judge you, or anything like that," he said comfortingly. She nodded and tried to avoid eye contact, meanwhile he didn't make it hard for her. 

"So, about that crush thing. Everyone had a crush on you, it was like the in thing to do," Isaac said to turn around the subject.

"I'm pretty some had a tiny bit more low key crushes on me, than you had," Lydia said, still with a worried tone in her voice. She saw Stiles in front of her and imagined that she was having a conversation with him instead of Isaac. She imagined his oval hazel eyes staring at her without a facial expression. It wasn't any love in his eyes, it wasn't Stiles eyes, and all she could see was hatred. In fact it wasn't Stiles at all, it was the person responsible for Allison's death. He just happened to look like Stiles.

"You may, or may not be correct about that Martin. But really, can you blame me? Have you seen yourself in the mirror?" he asked. Lydia couldn't help but smile the second he said that and the thoughts about Stiles disappeared. 

"Maybe I would have had a crush on me as well," she said and he just rolled with his eyes as an answer. Lydia looked at him with a satisfied look, she had won, clearly.

They sat there, for probably over ten minutes just staring at each other. Isaac with sad puppy eyes, and Lydia with satisfied upstage eyes. It might have been one of the most comfortable quiet ten minutes to ever exist, this time she didn't feel awkward about not saying anything.

She had time to figure things out as well, like the color of Isaac's scarf he was wearing. It had a weird yellowish tone, yet it was kind of vanilla colored. He had paired it with a white t-shirt, a grey cardigan with dark-grey and black thick stripes and a black pair of jeans. It was a pretty typical Isaac outfit, and it made her feel safe. It wasn't as unusual as having a dead best friend and your ex-boyfriend in town. Although the cardigan was horrible to look at.

Lydia herself had fought with half of the hospital only to not have to wear the white, ugly hospital clothing. She was instead wearing a grey plain t-shirt and a black pair of jogging pants. Nothing too fancy, but she at least felt more like home when she wore it.

"Thank you for being a friend when I need one the most," she said after a while, "I know we haven't been too good friends before, so you even caring about me is a huge deal, really," Isaac gave her a familiar crocked smile,

"My pleasure, miss Martin,"

He was just doing what Allison would have done. Isaac didn't say anyhing about it, but she was sure it was what he was thinking.

Later that night Isaac fought with half of the hospital. He wanted to stay for the night, but they wouldn't let him. Apparently Lydia was stable enough to be with herself for a night and he could without any problems come back the next day. The problem was that he refused to leave. 

"Lydia will be good enough to go home tomorrow anyway, she can sleep here alone for one night. It's not like you will sleep outside her window when she is home, so you can go home and get some rest and come back tomorrow," one of the nurses said.

"I'm not sure if you are aware, but her best friend died two almost three weeks ago, she is not stable and won't be in a while. And guess what, I'm planning to sleep next to her bed at home for a time now, I'm not gonna left you change that. And, I will also get rest here so I don't see a problem with me staying," Isaac replied, his voice pumped with anger.

They kept going on like that until the nurses had lost all the energy to fight. Lydia wasn't surprised Isaac got what he wanted, after all, he was a werewolf. They usually never lose a fight (unless it's against another werewolf, of course).

………

The next day Lydia woke up with Isaac sleeping in a chair on the other side of the room. Today the air was even dryer and it didn't smell anything, unless clean had a special sent. The room had gone back to white and it was sunny outside. She had offered him a place in her bed the night before, but he refused to accept the offer. Mostly because he was afraid that it would stop Lydia from sleeping, and according to him she needed it more. Lydia wasn’t sure that was totally correct, Scott had told her that Isaac was the one that had spent the most hours in the hospital, and the most time there during the nights. It did worry her and they had agreed that he was lacking on some important sleeping time, but it was no idea to fight Isaac. 

He was way too sure in his own decisions and him listening to what Lydia or anyone else had to say had always been very unlikely Isaac. That was another thing Lydia liked with him, yet found scary. He didn’t do anything he didn’t want to. She knew that she couldn't afford being too stubborn in his company if she didn't want to piss him off and after him being so nice towards her, it was the last thing she wanted to do. It was sure as hell sometimes a pain in the ass to not fight against him, but mostly she adored him for it. Independent people had always been her favorite people, after not being so independent herself before she had found Allison. She wanted to let Isaac sleep, not only because he deserved it but he looked very peaceful while doing it which made her feel safe. Although, most things with Isaac Lahey made her feel safe at the moment. But, he needed to wake up.

The doctors was probably going to come in any second and she didn't want them to be the first people she spoke to this morning. Lydia picked up the pillow from her bed and threw it at Isaac,

"Lahey, wake up," she said. 

"What do you want?" he responded with a sleepy voice. Lydia smirked,

"I want you to wake up," she said.

"How come?" Isaac said. Oh lord, he was stubborn.

"Because the doctors will be here any minute and right now I need someone to talk to," Lydia said. Saying that she needed someone, him, was a wake up call and Isaac reacted very quickly. It made Lydia blush a little bit when she thought about how he treated her, Isaac Lahey sure as hell made her feel special. The tone in his soft voice had a special cling to it that screamed Lydia's name, at least she wanted to imagine it did. She quickly shook of the thoughts, too embarrassed to even admit what she just had imagined to herself. 

"What can I help you with, ms. Martin?" he asked formally, she rolled her eyes and bit her lip before she answered,

"I'd like you to keep me company, sir," Lydia said finding it hard not to laugh.

"Alright, is it anything special you'd like to discuss?" Isaac asked. Lydia spent some seconds thinking before she noticed the book that was put on the floor next to Isaac. It was _the_ book, the one Allison had read before she died.

"Have you read that book?" she asked, pointing at the book next to Isaac chair. He looked down with a smile formed on his lips the second he noticed what book she was talking about. 

"Yes, it's kind of my favorite book of all time. I couldn't sleep last night, so I went to see what you had here and saw it, so I decided to do some reading," he replied enthusiastically. The whole thought of someone else reading and understanding the masterpiece made Lydia excited and she couldn't help but smiling like an idiot.

"Okay, important question before we start the book talk, what was your favorite part?" Lydia asked. Isaac needed to think for a long time before he could answer,

"Let me begin with pointing out the fact that me telling you that is indeed us discussing the book," he began, "This might make me sound like a total jerk, but Mona dying. That was kind of enjoyable, I have to admit. Happy endings have never really been my thing, mostly because I don't believe in such things," he said. He thought about Allison, of course he did.

Lydia stared at him for a few seconds before she could answer. She did actually agree on how enjoyable it was, the author had made it pretty funny although she never would be able to consider anyone (besides a murderer's) death the best part of something after what she had gone through for the past couple of weeks, which she told Isaac while left out the Allison related part. He didn't have to know that. It would probably make him feel bad or something and really, after staying with her for the night did he deserve so much more than that. He was most likely already thinking about her for that matter.

"You can't ask me and then not tell me about your favorite part, Martin," Isaac said. Lydia bit her lips before she opened her mouth,

"The part when Lisa finds out that she is pregnant I think. I just think that it made the tragic end kind of funny, and also partly because I really like her ex-husband. At least I would like to have sex with him," she answered confidentially. Isaac looked over at her and rolled his eyes, typically Lydia.

"I don't want to know more," he said while he looked over at the smirking Lydia. She was snuggled up in her pajamas, but with the confidence in her voice while talking about sex, Lydia could probably turn anyone on. At least that's what she did to Isaac. He bit his lip and tried to ignore it, after all, it was Lydia Martin. His dead almost girlfriends best friend. He couldn't let her turn him on. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment your thoughts and what I can improve, give me kudos, bookmark and all that stuff!!  
> Okay so this is the next chapter, a chapter where Isaac and Lydia do some bonding. I really enjoyed both editing and writing it, I can really feel the my plot is going to turn out amazing!  
> This time I had a few friends look over my grammar, but they couldn't find anything and I'm afraid that they might have missed something so if you find anything grammatical incorrect please tweet me at @scalisac so I can fix it!  
> Chapter four am I currently working on, and it will be out whenever my story has 600 hits, so look forward to that (and spread the link so it actually can happen).  
> Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it more than you guys know.  
> Twitter - @scalisac  
> Tumblr - http://holiandrodens.tumblr.com/


	4. Banshee's back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia is back in school, but is everything back as usual?

A couple of days later it was Lydia's first day of school since she had been kidnapped (which later resulted in getting Allison killed). She was terrified, and excited. It was time to let everyone know. The banshee (although, no one knew that she was a banshee) was back.

………

She came out of the hospital on a Friday and Isaac slept at hers that night. She didn't let him sleep on the floor or in a chair, Lydia told him that he either could join her in her bed, or she would choose to sleep on the floor. After arguing with a girl that didn't want him to get another night of bad sleep, he had to give up. Lydia's bed was big enough for the two of them anyway, something he couldn't deny.

Her mom had a day off the day after, so they actually spent it together watching movies. It was a very rare that they'd do anything together, and since it was raining outside movies was a perfect way to keep each other company.

Her mom usually went to bed the second she came home and spent the least amount of time as possible in their home. A few years ago Lydia's dad had left them and it effected her mother a lot. Running away from their home was the easiest way of handling it for Natalie Martin, which also meant leaving Lydia alone a lot. She didn't mind it too much, although she did miss having a parent. But then again, when she had her dad at home he didn't really care about her either. He was so in control of her mom that she was afraid of showing Lydia any appreciation, but, at least they were at home. During that time Lydia had tricked herself into not caring about her parents either, but every day had been a battle. She was all alone, even in the presence of other people. She might have been the popular girl, but she didn't have a real friend. Then she met Allison. Who now was dead.

When Isaac left in the morning to leave Lydia and her mom alone he said it was for a day with video games playing with Scott. Although Lydia knew that wasn't the case, she was more than completely sure that Isaac would meet the rest of the pack and talk about nothing but her. How she is doing. How to get her go back to school. Oh, and let's not forget, how to make Jackson Whittemore leave the town. The last mentioned was the only reason Lydia actually let him leave, she couldn't let him, Jackson, stay for any longer. He terrified her and the thought of being near him raised the hairs on her arm.

That night Isaac came over again, he refused to let Lydia sleep on her own. It was probably good to not leave her alone in this condition, but she couldn't help but get a little bit annoyed. Not because she didn't want him to, she was annoyed at herself. She knew that she wouldn't take as good care of Isaac if he needed a friend, which made her feel very bad and quite worthless. In fact, he did need a friend as much as she did - he was just better at hiding it.

………

The next day the whole pack came to Lydia's house and they forced her into going back to school the next day as she had expected. Not because they had to do so much for her to agree, she already wanted to go back and get her shit together again. The thought of getting any less than an A+ in any subject made her heart beat faster, especially with her IQ of 170. It would be the same thing as wasting something very powerful (something only someone very stupid would do, according to Lydia), and for the record, having something to do during the day time was never wrong especially not when everyone else she knew was doing something. She didn't want to feel alone anymore, so going back to school was a good plan. She hoped.

………

Lydia woke up at 6.30 am that Monday after not being able to sleep until three the night before. Isaac was still asleep next to her, and she figured she could let them both sleep for another ten minutes. He had of course decided to stay over the night before, and Lydia knew that stopping him was an impossible mission. She expected them to stay roommates for a long while. After going back to sleep for what she expected to be ten minutes, she woke up and checked the clock. It showed 9 am.

"Fuck," she mumbled to herself before she ran out of bed. Lydia was always in time, never ever even one second late. In her opinion being late was the same thing as being disrespectful towards her teachers and in none school situations, being disrespectful towards whatever she is doing or whoever she is meeting. If she was a teacher, she wouldn't want her students to disrespect her.

She ran to the mirror and took a look at herself, "You are Lydia Martin. You can do this," she whispered to herself before she bit her lip and turned around, there Isaac was sleeping on the bed, she had almost forgot him.

"Isaac, get up!" Lydia called. Isaac opened his eyelids and locked surprisingly around in the room,

"What's the deal with you, Martin?" he asked. She gave him an angry look in response,

"We are late. The first period started an hour ago and here you are, sleeping, in my bed," she said while pronouncing my bed extra clearly. Isaac looked at her with a nervous smile,

"It's not dangerous to come late sometimes, Lyd," he said trying to sound gentle. She shook her head and ran in to the bathroom, she couldn't waste any more time and needed to get ready. She ran in, in the shower took a quick one. I was no time for her to let the hot water surround her body or her hair to be gently touched with her rose smelling shampoo. While being in there she also put on some moisture on her skin so she could put on some makeup. Going to school without any makeup wasn't going to happen, not today.

After the shower she got dressed. She decided to wear a white top with a blue floral pattern. She had picked the top up with Allison and it made her feel close, which gave her a self feeling. It was quite loose and she stuffed it in, in a light blue high waisted skater skirt and a pair of brown Jeffrey Campbell boots. It was a simple outfit, yet it looked like she had spent a lot of time on it.

Isaac had also left the bed and he had now taken over the bathroom while Lydia was getting ready in her room. After applying her makeup, and putting on a perfume with a soft flower sent which just like the top reminded her of Allison. She decided to put up her hair in a quick ponytail before she knocked on the bathroom door and told Isaac that she was downstairs making them breakfast. She refused to go to school with an empty stomach, she went there to study. Not suffer.

While Lydia prepared two sandwiches Isaac came down to the kitchen. He watched her while she was making them and he couldn't help laughing. She was so angry that she was running late which made the way she moved very aggressive yet hilarious.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked when she noticed Isaac in the background. He tried to keep it in but she didn't make it easier for him,

"Nothing, do you want me to drive?" he said while choking the noise coming out of his mouth.

"Yes, if you can shut the fuck up and stop laughing at me I would love that. If not, I can walk to school," she said with an ignorant tone in her voice. Lydia was angry, and she really didn't have time for any bullshit at the moment. It frustrated her even more. Isaac on the other hand didn't mind her being angry at him, he knew she was nothing but stressed so he sat down and cooled himself.

Lydia was finished right in time for when Isaac had stopped laughing, she handed him the sandwich and he walked out of the house behind her. Then a twenty minutes drive was happening and while Isaac was playing some enjoyable music on the radio Lydia sat down quietly next to him. He tried to start conversations with her, but she just gave him angry looks and Isaac gave up quickly. Meanwhile he tried to make the car ride a little bit more pleasant, Lydia tried to not scream out loud because of frustration. They were way too late, and it felt like her heart started beating quicker and quicker for every single second. Although she knew she had to have calmed down in time for when they arrived, or else she wouldn't be able to get out of the fact that they were late.

Finally in school Lydia and Isaac luckily had the same class. Chemistry. In fact they almost had the same schedule which always had been something they both liked. None of the classes they took was with the rest of the pack, besides English literature, so they were used to sit next to each other all the time even although their friendship before only was depending on Allison and Scott. When they came in to the classroom it was twenty minutes past ten and they were ten minutes late to the class. Lydia walked in followed by Isaac and they both tried to keep a low profile on their way to the seats, their teacher almost didn't see them but when they were about to sit down he looked up from the paperwork he was doing,

"Excuse me Lahey and Martin, but why are you two late," he said angrily. Isaac was just going to start talking when Lydia opened her mouth,

"I'm sorry sir, I have been at home all weekend after fainting last week. I wasn't supposed to come today, but Isaac decided to try to give me some energy to come in today and here we are," she explained calmly. Lydia knew exactly how to get away. Their teacher just nodded and continued with his paperwork. Isaac (and the rest of the class) stared at her but she just shrugged, 

"What?" Lydia said with a soft voice before she opened her chemistry book. When she opened it, she could smell a tons of different acids which made her feel more like home. Maybe, she thought, she wasn't as calm as she made herself out to be, but the other believing she was wouldn't hurt anyone.

It said page 45 on the board, so she figured that reading it was a good thing to do. Isaac glanced over at her and did the same, while the rest of the class still blindly stared at them. 

………

A few hours had passed and it was time for lunch. The first lunch she would spend without Allison. The first lunch without talking with her in the queue. The first lunch without waiting for her to be done eating. The first lunch since she had died. 

"Why can't we just go somewhere else today?" Lydia mumbled. Cora bit her lip,

"Lydia, it's going to be okay," she said while she put her hand on Lydia's back to comfort her. Lydia shook her head and looked in everyone's eyes. She knew she had to go in, but that didn't change the fact that it almost felt impossible to do it.

Before thinking any further (since she deep down knew that it would result in seeming even more impossible) Lydia closed her eyes and the short girl entered the lunch hall. She didn't breathe for a few seconds, and when she did, still with her eyes closed, she cold smell the familiar sent of coffee mixed with hamburgers. The rest of the pack walked in after her, all very surprised that she made her way in so quickly. Other people were also surprised, other people known as the rest of the schools students. Everyone stared at her and she got a déjà vu feeling from the funeral when she stood there not really sure what to say. She knew she could faint any second, and everything was overwhelming. Lydia took a deep breath, hoping that people soon would look away as she opened her mouth,

"Yes, you're correct. The crazy Lydia Martin girl just entered the hall," she said to herself before she took another breath and walked to the food section, once again followed by the pack (minus Derek of course, who didn't go to school).

'The banshee is back,' Allison's voice said. She sounded so close, and Lydia had to look around in the room to make sure that it actually wasn't Allison saying it - but of course, she was dead. Obviously, it was all happening in Lydia's head. She just wanted it to be real very badly.

"Lyds, are you okay?" Stiles asked. He was standing behind her in the queue, which made her feel very unsafe. 

"Yes I am, don't worry Stiles," she said quickly with frustration in her voice, motivated in getting away as quickly as she possibly could. She had always been a good actress, and Stiles believed her. Scott was right in front of Lydia, and Isaac next to Stiles, so if he did something someone would be able to help her, she figured. That calmed Lydia a little bit, yet the fact that only standing close to Stiles made her scared was upsetting. Three weeks ago, he was one of the most important persons in her life. He still was to this day, but her relationship with Stiles was now more than complicated. She couldn't help but blame him.

No one knew what to say, and it was a nervous atmosphere around the table. Lydia herself was about to have a nervous breakdown, and it was very unusual to not see Allison's gold brown eyes smiling at her this time of the day. She looked over at Scott and he was pressing together his teeth with an angry look on his face. Lydia had no idea why, but it looked like some werewolf business going on.

"Is anything wrong?" she asked while looked over at him. Stiles responded quickly,

"Yes, it's-," he said before Scott stopped him.

"Don't Stiles," he sighed loudly as he gave Stiles an angry look, "no Lyd, it's all good don't worry," he continued with a sad voice. The fact that something was _very_ wrong was written all over his face. 

"Please guys, let me in," Lydia whispered as she gave them a frustrated face. She wanted to scream and make sure they understood that they made her feel worse. She didn't only have a dead best friend, but also friends that had decided that she was too broken to know anything.

_'Allison's death does NOT define me.'_

Isaac bit his lip as he gave her a 'we will take it later look' and Lydia replied with an eye rolling. At least she had someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys and thank you so much for reading. a long time since the last update, i know. lets just say school and work is taking up a lot of time and my motivation to write has been at 0. although i got some energy last night and it feels great to be back. im not sure if im 100% happy with this chapter and i havent had anyone but me reading it, but hopefully it will be enjoyable. please comment your thoughts give me kudos and spread the message about this fic since im back on it again.
> 
> the next chapter im planning to write my first supernatural scene (or, have i already sort of done that?), so stay tuned. also, you can always write to me on tumblr and twitter if you want to talk. :) holiandrodens.tumblr.com twitter.com/scalisac


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